In the past few weeks I’ve started to get a bit anxious. Those small but alarming moments when your heart beats that bit faster than it should. Where you are wound up so tight that the most innocent of misdemeanours can make you snap and snarl at your loved ones.
It doesn’t happen often. But I hate it when life seems to pelting at a gale force pace and I feel like I am running after it shouting “hey wait I haven’t even zipped up my boots”.
Nothing serious, thankfully, had happened but sometimes I think I am built for a much simpler lifestyle.
All three children and the husband had back to back bugs and viruses, we started our kitchen extension, work was manic and more time-consuming than normal and Gabe was waking for hours in the night. We had the usual after-school clubs, homework, episodes of House of Cards to watch and kids that needed to be fed and watered in some way (the cheek!).
It is even more frustrating when life is busy and stressy because there is no time to exercise and food grabbed on the go is never of the premium nutritional sort (try beef Hula Hoops and a KitKat for a power lunch)
I couldn’t keep up and my glass was becoming half empty.
You have some days off soon, my good cop said.
But then they will be over, my miserable arse bad cop said.
You are going away with your mates with no kids woohoo, good cop squealed.
Yeah well I can’t stop eating so I’ll look like a whale, bad cop moaned.
But Gabe is waking to play of a night, like a normal toddler, that is mega great, good cop tried.
Who gives a sh*t, bad cop snapped.
But then yesterday I met my horrid deadline for work and with the hubby out, I tricked the children into a much earlier bedtime. Then I did four things that made me feel like a new woman:
- I had a hot bath and stared at the ceiling for ten minutes
- I lay on the bed for half an hour in my dressing gown and flicked through Instagram for 20 minutes
- I put on cosy PJs and bed socks (the bliss) and sat on the sofa and watched mindless TV for two hours with a brew and some chocolate (Grey’s Anatomy and Made in Chelsea I salute you!)
- I went to bed early and read a chapter of my dusty book.
Sometimes, we forget the joy of doing absolutely nothing.
Mostly, we forget how essential this is to our emotional well being.
It is like we feel we are letting the team down if we don’t spend the precious few hours we have of an evening doing more stuff whether it be ironing, making packed lunch or even sorting out more washing.
Leave the cleaning, shut down the computer go and lie still somewhere and clear your head.
You’ll feel better for it. I promise.