10 most boring things you say as a Mum

Did you imagine your life as a mummy to be exactly the same as your life before parenthood – except just with a cool pram and a year off work. Yeah me too – it is a massive conspiracy and some days I want my money (and my stomach) back. The one thing I didn’t bargain on was how much my brain would shut down. Gone are the days when I used to debate the political agenda (I never did this), reflect on the work of Epicurus (I don’t know who that is; I googled famous clever people) and ponder on social deprivation and its impact on crime (erm.. I did watch the soaps).

I have always been interested in enlightening discussions. Even at university I would invite a select group of people back for compelling cultured conversation over a pot of tea after the Friday night bop (this wasn’t me, but some cool girl in the next hall; she never invited me). I used to be able to reel off every member of the Cabinet (well I pretended this in an interview) and a stint as a finance journalist meant I knew my way around the shares index and share-weighted indices (I didn’t have a clue what I was talking about).

Now it seems all I can muster is a muse on the mundane or harangue on the humdrum.

If you want to talk Grey’s Anatomy or the best flavours of super noodles than I am your gal. I hit an all time low last night when I found myself telling my husband all about fences. The fences are not even mine, nor do they even belong to a real life friend (which would be bad enough) but a friend of a friend on Facebook!!

This got me thinking about some of the other boring trite that now occupies my mind. I am blaming motherhood. This is what it does to you:

10 most boring things I now say!

  1. I must hoover and mop the floors
  2. I love this new pan
  3. Does this room smell of nappies?
  4. Smiley Faces or waffles?
  5. Stop picking your nose
  6. That is your third poo today
  7. Because I said so
  8. Shall we do some crafts?
  9. Oh look, ducks!
  10. Is that slug slime by the door?

10 most boring things I now do!

  1. Hoover and mop the floors
  2. Tidy away toys
  3. Play with play dough
  4. Open and shut the fridge 100 times a day
  5. Put clothes in washing machine/dryer/cupboards/repeat until you’re dead
  6. Keep food coupons in a box and then forgot about them
  7. Blog (ahem)
  8. Randomly look at non friends’ comments on other non friends’ Facebook posts (cause you are cheating the system. Hell Yeah!)
  9. Iron pillow slips
  10. Get excited about cushions

 10 most boring things I now think!

  1. I wonder if the Pampers offer is still on in Asda
  2. Where is Balamory?
  3. Who has robbed all the socks
  4. What can we have for lunch?
  5. What can we have for dinner?
  6. Should I get a steam cleaner?
  7. That was a nice trip to the shops
  8. I can’t believe they were sold out of Warburton’s Toastie
  9. I think the kettle needs cleaning
  10. Oh look, post!

And just for the additional needs mums, these sayings are all part of my day too

  1. I am just ringing about a repeat prescription
  2. The blue badge is for my son not me
  3. Yes – we have been doing all our therapy programmes. All the time. Nothing else.
  4. No he is not toilet trained
  5. No he is not self feeding
  6. No he is not talking
  7. No he is not walking
  8. Yes – I have read that (stupid) poem Welcome to Holland. No – please don’t send it to me
  9. No it’s fine that your clinic is running two hours late because I had nothing better to do.
  10. No I didn’t have an affair with Boris Johnson.

Gabe says: “Who is this Boris geezer. Is he gorgeous like me?!”
Post Comment Love

20 Comments on 10 most boring things you say as a Mum

  1. Hurrah For Gin
    March 13, 2014 at 8:01 pm (6 years ago)

    yes yes yes yes yes yes love this.
    And he is bloody gorgeous my lovely and just perfect in every way – but then you already know that don't you x

    Reply
  2. Kathryn Grant
    March 14, 2014 at 4:37 pm (6 years ago)

    This is such a great post… It's funny cos it's TRUE!! :)

    Your son looks so sweet in the photo!
    #pocolo

    Reply
  3. Studio Kaufmann
    March 14, 2014 at 5:21 pm (6 years ago)

    ha ha ha your son is way cuter than Boris Johnson!! Enjoy him now because I have kids age 10 and 13 and I get lots of interesting questions all the time like 'what's a prostitute?' Um er….. 'Is marijuana bad for you?' Well no, not exactly, okay YES it is. 'did you have any boyfriends before daddy' um yes one or two cough. Have a great day scrubbing pans. #PoCoLo

    Reply
  4. Le Coin de Mel
    March 15, 2014 at 12:10 am (6 years ago)

    Haha, this is a great post! You made me giggle! x Mel

    Reply
  5. Victoria Welton
    March 16, 2014 at 2:29 pm (6 years ago)

    This is all so very very true!! Brilliant post. Thank you for linking to PoCoLo x

    Reply
  6. heronsister
    March 17, 2014 at 12:07 am (6 years ago)

    Someone actually and seriously told me I needed to get out more after I told a particularly dull story one day. Ouch. I was probably so starved of adult conversation that I buttonholed whoever it was for as long as I could think of English words to say.

    So, what'll it be for dinner? Pizza, pasta or fish sticks? Maybe we'll mix it up this week and have pasta, fish sticks and pizza.

    Reply
  7. Jess Paterson
    March 17, 2014 at 3:12 pm (6 years ago)

    This is brilliant! We have a steam cleaner. It looks really nice in our cupboard :) (used once). Gabe is gorgeousosity! Xxx

    Reply
  8. Wally Mummy
    March 17, 2014 at 9:01 pm (6 years ago)

    Ha! The other day I actually caught myself discussing steam mops… KILL. ME. NOW. lol xx

    Reply
  9. Frances Eneide
    March 18, 2014 at 8:32 pm (6 years ago)

    Oh this sounds so familiar. The washing never ends /cry. I used to love a political debate, now I find excuses to get out of them. My latest excuse for hubby when he's on his soapbox about Scottish independence is "please stop, otherwise I will vote no!", it works! The extent of conversation at lunch today was "what will we have for dinner?". Shoot me now! :) xx

    Reply
  10. Frances Eneide
    March 18, 2014 at 8:37 pm (6 years ago)

    Oh this sounds so familiar. The washing never ends /cry. I used to love a political debate, now I find excuses to get out of them. My latest excuse for hubby when he's on his soapbox about Scottish independence is "please stop, otherwise I will vote no!", it works! The extent of conversation at lunch today was "what will we have for dinner?". Shoot me now! :) xx

    Reply
  11. Alison Bloomer
    March 24, 2014 at 11:54 am (6 years ago)

    Thanks. It is gorgeous methinks haha x

    Reply
  12. Alison Bloomer
    March 24, 2014 at 11:55 am (6 years ago)

    Oh gosh – I am looking forward to the marijuana questioning ha xx

    Reply
  13. Alison Bloomer
    March 24, 2014 at 11:56 am (6 years ago)

    Haha – I think I need to get out more too xxx

    Reply
  14. Alison Bloomer
    March 24, 2014 at 11:56 am (6 years ago)

    I think if I got one mine would live in the cupboard too and make friends with the coffee machine ha xx

    Reply
  15. Alison Bloomer
    March 24, 2014 at 11:57 am (6 years ago)

    A step up from debating dish clothes though xxx

    Reply
  16. Alison Bloomer
    March 24, 2014 at 11:58 am (6 years ago)

    I know. Now I'll only debate anything if I am drunk and then it is usually about Made in Chelsea xxx

    Reply
  17. Jane Scott
    February 27, 2016 at 7:44 am (4 years ago)

    Yes to the steam cleaner; and you iron pillowslips?!!!!Can I just voice my disappointment at the lack of photos of shelves with lemons on them.
    Jane Scott recently posted…Testing,testing…..My Profile

    Reply
    • Alison
      February 28, 2016 at 2:39 pm (4 years ago)

      Haha – I have moved on to artful asparagus in vases now 😉 x

      Reply

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