The whizz-hoppy fabby-dabby new game that pushes you to the limits of your ability. Fun for all the family. The rewards include alcoholic beverages.
Players: Minimum of three (parent, child, babysitter)
Age range: All
How to win: Children take on parents in this battle of deception and cunning. Parents only win if they get to the pub/party/restaurant without the children ever knowing that there was a babysitter in the house (whether it be Granny, Auntie Sue or Molly from up the road).
The aim of the game
- To get the children in bed and asleep without them realising you are going out
- To get to your destination looking like you are going out for the evening rather than putting a bit of lippy on and hoping you’ll do
- To get to your destination without throwing your wedding ring (or a shoe) at your husband
- To get to your destination before you have sworn at your nearest and dearest 746 times
- To get out the door and far away before your nocturnal children wake up and start annoying the babysitter
- To provide enough bribery in the form of posh crisps and chocolate so the babysitter doesn’t decide she’d rather stick pins in her eyeballs than watch over your offspring again.
- You need to be somewhere at a certain time so you can’t just wait for the children to fall asleep au natural and then text the babysitter with a coded message saying all systems are GO GO GO!
- You need to look like a fox (aka someone who has washed their hair and ironed their clothes)
- You need to look foxy without any children seeing you attempt to do any fox-ish preparation
- You need to tidy up for the babysitter as even teenage babysitters don’t like looking at discarded nappy sacks and sitting on rice cake crumbs
- You need to have snacks in for the babysitter (without the children realising that they are snacks for a babysitter)
- The babysitter MUST NOT be seen by any of the children
- Gain an extra point if you squeeze in a serene bedtime story
- Gain an extra two points if you manage to paint both sets of nails
- Gain an extra five points if you pluck your eyebrows
- Gain an extra ten points if you sneak in a small glass of wine whilst getting ready
- Gain an extra hundred points if you have applied fake tan during the day
- Gain an extra thousand points if you and your partner are still speaking
- If you don’t follow the usual routine to the letter – even a baby can sniff a change of plan
- If you dress too early and someone under seven asks why are you glammed up to watch TV with daddy
- If you forget any essential birthday/anniversary presents that you need for the event
- If you leave behind your purse/wallet in the chaos of getting out
- If the babysitter calls because some random child (you are trying to disown them) won’t re-settle or has been sick
- If children are clinging to your legs as babysitter arrives pleading with you not to go out
- If in your rush your fake fan (it wasn’t worth the points) smudges around your face making you look like someone flicked you in the face with brown paint
- You didn’t check your outfit still fits from your last night out six months ago – wailing at the top of your voice with your entire wardrobe discarded on the floor will wake up the children leading to point two
Essential rule: once that front door is shut the babysitter is in charge so if you hear the baby cry as you walk down the path you don’t need to go back – run, Run, RUN!!!
|Gabe says: “So I deduce from the smudged nails, the red eyebrows, the seventeen outfits
on the bedroom floor and this glass of wine that you are GOING out tonight.
Well think again LOSERS!”